Grief
Grief is one of the Five Natural Emotions. The others are: Fear, Anger, Envy, and Love. These emotions were given to us as gifts. They are tools that, if used well, can help us all to move through this life and remain physically and mentally healthy. But the trick is, these emotions must not be withheld.
Grief that is repressed will turn into a very unnatural emotion: chronic depression. Therefore, when I talk with anyone about the process of grief, the first thing I tell them is, "feel it. For heaven sake, feel it. If you are experiencing grief, allow yourself to express it."
I say this because many people-perhaps most people-hide their grief, or at the very least, try very hard to control it, to hold it in, to repress it. This only guarantees that it will linger all the longer.
So the first thing to do about grief is to let it out. Cry it out, scream it out (in a healthy way, not in the form of abuse of another), bang it out (I have encouraged people to use a baton, or some other instrument with which they can hit a big pillow. A baseball bat works wonders on an told tire. A compressor hose can also be powerful, used on some old telephone books.
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross used to say that every hospital should have not just a chapel, where one goes to be quiet, to pray or just sit in peace, but also a screaming room, where one could go to scream out one's grief. But no, she would say, what they do in hospitals is give the person who is grieving over the death of a loved one a sedative and send them home.
One of the problems in our society, Dr. Ross used to say, is that we are taught to sedate all of our Natural Emotions. Even love. With the result that these emotions are repressed, leading, as I mentioned above, to very unnatural emotions. Repressed fear will turn into panic. Simply envy, when repressed, will turn into jealousy. Repressed anger will turn into rage. And repressed love will turn into possessiveness.
So, advice #1 on grief: Let it out. Find a friend, go to your pastor, minister, rabbi or ulama, check out a grief-and-loss counselor, get to an emotional support group...find someone with whom to let it out. ~ Neale Donald Walsch
Grief that is repressed will turn into a very unnatural emotion: chronic depression. Therefore, when I talk with anyone about the process of grief, the first thing I tell them is, "feel it. For heaven sake, feel it. If you are experiencing grief, allow yourself to express it."
I say this because many people-perhaps most people-hide their grief, or at the very least, try very hard to control it, to hold it in, to repress it. This only guarantees that it will linger all the longer.
So the first thing to do about grief is to let it out. Cry it out, scream it out (in a healthy way, not in the form of abuse of another), bang it out (I have encouraged people to use a baton, or some other instrument with which they can hit a big pillow. A baseball bat works wonders on an told tire. A compressor hose can also be powerful, used on some old telephone books.
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross used to say that every hospital should have not just a chapel, where one goes to be quiet, to pray or just sit in peace, but also a screaming room, where one could go to scream out one's grief. But no, she would say, what they do in hospitals is give the person who is grieving over the death of a loved one a sedative and send them home.
One of the problems in our society, Dr. Ross used to say, is that we are taught to sedate all of our Natural Emotions. Even love. With the result that these emotions are repressed, leading, as I mentioned above, to very unnatural emotions. Repressed fear will turn into panic. Simply envy, when repressed, will turn into jealousy. Repressed anger will turn into rage. And repressed love will turn into possessiveness.
So, advice #1 on grief: Let it out. Find a friend, go to your pastor, minister, rabbi or ulama, check out a grief-and-loss counselor, get to an emotional support group...find someone with whom to let it out. ~ Neale Donald Walsch
I found this video about this on google. If you'd like the link PM me. You should embrace it to this weblog
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